Narcissism by Jesserose Mireles

Jesserose Mireles

3/1/18

Spring 1302

Professor Hammett

Introduction

Narcissism

            It’s a Monday morning and of course you’re on the verge of being late for work—but it’s not your fault. There’s always someone to blame, and this time it’s your neighbors who were being so loud last night that you couldn’t fall asleep on time. You run to Starbucks because it’s impossible to deal with your co-workers without your daily caffeine dose. And your luck, the line is long. When you get to the front, you almost don’t hear the barista ask what you would like as you are so caught up in your thoughts, complaining to yourself how slow these workers always are. Never mind that you give them attitude to hurry and get your drink made. You get to work late, but you don’t think it matters. It’s understandable that others caused you to be thirty minutes late; it wasn’t your fault. Turns out there was a team meeting this morning—but it wasn’t as important as your coffee— so you walk in late and interrupt to ask if someone could give you a recap, explaining that the slow baristas and loud neighbors made you late. A few minutes into the meeting you interrupt again to make sure your opinions were heard about the new ideas you had and improvement you came up with, because what everyone else was saying was unimportant.

            Sadly, this type of behavior is becoming more and more prevalent in American society. And, instead of it being viewed as narcissistic, it is seen as normal as people are becoming the center of their own world. Narcissism is a rising epidemic, and it is vital to ask yourself if you are yet another one of the narcissists in society.

History

Narcissism has existed since humans can remember (Remes 1). It existed in smaller settings, such as cavemen wanting to hunt the biggest and best fish for their dinner, and a Native American girl trying to pick only the prettiest flowers to put in her hair. Slight narcissism is a basic human feeling. Narcissism however was less common years ago as most societies were traditional economies with everyone working to better each other; compared to today’s individualized, everyone will get their 15 seconds of fame mindset (1).

            Over 2,000 years ago, narcissism was first identified by Ovid when he wrote “Legend of Narcissus” which told the story of the man that saw his reflection in a pool of water, fell in love and never left the pool. He stayed there forever to gaze upon his own beauty—ultimately causing his death (1). This gave voice to all of the self-absorbed, vain thoughts that had been around since the beginning of time. Further, the first psychoanalyst Sigmund Freud wrote about the ego and how it related to the outside world (McLeod 1). Essentially, he wrote about the taboo, self-centered side of humans. But he identified it and didn’t degrade it, which gave birth to narcissists all over the world.

            As stated before, narcissism has always existed. Yet the increasing displays of narcissism in the recent years and what was once a hidden part of each person is now becoming a full-fledged epidemic. Narcissism turns into an issue when one becomes obsessed with himself and constantly searches for others’ approval and attention (Remes 1). This obsession causes the victim to be obliviously unempathetic to others giving him a self-absorbed demeanor. Narcissism however, did not come about abruptly.

The self-esteem movement that has swept around the globe, beginning in 1969 with “The Psychology of Self-Esteem” by Nathaniel Brandon, has indirectly added to the growth of narcissism by drilling into peoples’ heads that to be successful they must have good self-esteem (Sanchez 1). This seemingly unharmful ideology turned into an extreme of people thinking only the highest of themselves and feeling that they are naturally the best without having accomplished anything (1). While this had positive effects, it also had negative ones of boosting self-esteem to a point that led to narcissism (1).

            Social media can mean a range of things to different people. For some it means a past-time, an obsession, or a job. It is a means to stay in contact with old friends. But it is also a means for narcissists to flourish. These sites allow individuals to feel as if they have more friends than they really do, as they can follow or friend people they do not know or have not spoken to in years. This gives a false sense of being liked; the more friends or followers one has, the more liked and popular that makes them. Another large part of social media is receiving like on pictures. Narcissists thrive off approval from others which is given to them in the form of likes. By spending so much time in front of the screen forming relationships over social media, narcissists are in turn spending less time forming relationships face to face which allows them to be more isolated.

Social Effects

            Narcissism has led to a general decline in performance from individuals. If this becomes too prominent, it could eventually lead to the overall decline of success in the world. But back to the root of the issue—the decline in performance. When one becomes a victim of narcissism, it brings= feelings of being content with how one is. Narcissists fail to see any flaws or weaknesses in themselves as their ego is so inflated, there isn’t any room to asses any areas within themselves they could improve. With individuals happy with where they are or how they are there will be no striving to better actions or self. This creates a decline in performance. And it is an overall decline, as narcissists exist everywhere: in the workplace, at school, at home, in church. An individual is not only a narcissist when they go home. Narcissism is something that engulfs one’s entire personality and therefore touches everyone they interact with. When an individual is happy with where they are there will be no improvement because they are living in their comfort zone.

The United States’ society has been hit hard by narcissism. Society has drifted from the community first attitude and more towards an individualistic mindset (Remes 1). Society has changed from contributing to the community to achieving personal success (Taylor 1). Society has changed from fulfilling community responsibilities to finding self-gratification. (1). Society has changed from an ‘us’ to ‘I’ viewpoint. This can be seen as well as heard. Just turn on the radio and listen to some of the popular songs that come on that promote self-love and putting oneself above others. Next take a look around when driving and see the person who is blocking multiple lanes trying to go where they need to go because they are obviously more important. Collectively society has succumbed to the ideas of narcissism as it is simply easier. It is easier to focus on oneself, as social media promotes. And with over 1 billion people in the world using various social media platforms, many are getting the exposure to the ‘it’s all about me’ culture that is flourishing there (Lunden 1). It is easier to think individual’s needs are more urgent than others and society has been pushed towards that direction of thinking.

Examples

A woman is at the rodeo and is pushing past people to get to the front of the concert stage. She paid for the ground tickets, sacrificing a chunk of her money for this. Therefore, she deserves to be at the front. People are all around her and she is starting to get irritated. All these people around her are making her sweat, therefore messing up her makeup and possibly staining her outfit. She wonders how this will affect her Snapchat selfies. Her favorite song comes on and she starts singing but the crowd around her is singing so loudly she can’t hear herself and becomes irritated. In her opinion, her voice surpasses these mediocre ones around her and hers should be louder as to be heard by more people. Society has begun to accept the epidemic of narcissism, and that is why it is sometimes hard to recognize it. Small amounts of narcissism such as this usually go unnoticed as it is so common nowadays.

It is usually the larger amounts that take people by surprise. Two friends, a man and a woman, haven’t seen one another years. They used to be close in grade school but as they grew older drifted apart. They were supposed to meet at noon for lunch, but the woman was late. She blamed her late arrival on the crazy traffic. The man accepted it and they went on to order their food. While waiting for the meal, the man tried to start up conversation. The woman immediately turned the conversation towards herself and began to catch the man up on her life and how great her new job is. When the man tried to speak of his new promotion, the woman interjected and steered the topic back to her and how she got one a few weeks ago and how much more popular it has made her in the workplace. Fed up, the man began to talk about his own life. Upon this switch the woman picked up her phone and started texting and snapping pictures of herself for social media. Then she interjects at random, complaining about the terribly slow service and how usually she never has time to sit and wait with her busy schedule and her busy life. When the food comes, the woman complains of it being cold and immediately asks for it to be sent back. She rolls her eyes and asks the man why he chose such a poor restaurant. Mid-meal, the woman’s phone rings and she picks it up at the table. She gets into a fifteen-minute-long call, having no respect or consideration for the man. Such situations as this example happen often and it is usually overlooked as being busy instead of narcissistic.

Solutions

            Narcissism is a difficult epidemic to cure. Because a bit of narcissism here and there is natural as it is human nature, and human nature is something incurable. There are two sides to looking at the cure of narcissism, the medical and the social solutions.

When narcissism is evident to an extent is when the question of having a narcissistic personality disorder comes about. And the clinical side of narcissism is what can be cured. Doctors have described those suffering from a narcissistic personality disorder as having a “pervasive pattern of grandiosity,” the “expectation of preferential treatment” and “arrogant behaviors” (Levy 1). Notice that these characteristics sound like people in everyday life. It is hard to distinguish a few narcissistic moments from a narcissistic personality disorder. The question of whether an individual has a narcissistic personality disorder is a complicated one to ask as the evidence is more “clinical rather than empirical” (1). To be diagnosed, like any other mental health disorder, there are a multitude of tests to be taken (1). Approximately “one in every sixteen adults” demonstrate enough traits to be diagnosed with narcissistic personality disorder (McCleadon 1). Within recent years the diagnosis and recognition of the narcissistic personality disorder has increased (1). There is no medicine to treat this personality disorder, the only solution to overcoming it are therapy sessions in which psychoanalyses are conducted (McCleadon 1).

Socially, there might be another cure to basic narcissism. Narcissism is imbedded into human nature but there is a way that it can be toned down. By simply humbling oneself, an individual can lose the sense of entitlement, therefore lessening the narcissistic side of the personality. A study done by Lisa Firestone said that in effort to move away from a narcissistic society first the individual must “shift our focus from self-esteem to self-compassion” (Firestone 1). This theory from Firestone goes for society as an entirety. If the world can move from boosting each person’s self-esteem which leads to results like inflated egos, to promoting self-compassion which encourages understanding and empathy for others, then the growth of narcissism can be slowed.

Camus

            Albert Camus said the “universe is meaningless” and that the “human search for meaning will never succeed” (Aronson 1). Because of this, Camus would more than likely disagree with the narcissism epidemic occurring around the world yet be intrigued by it at the same time. He says people try to “add meaning to lives that are without purpose” and with people being self-centered and self-absorbed, he would see it as a more power to them type thinking, but it is ultimately pointless (1). It would be ultimately pointless because life is without meaning and all of the extra efforts people would be going through to make themselves the center of the world would be without purpose. All of the extra narcissistic motions people would be living through would be considered a waste of time as it is a form of trying to make sense of the absurd world people live in. It seems as though most people are narcissistic because it makes them happier to be the most important being in the universe. But Camus says that “true happiness is accepting one’s fate” (1). Therefore, narcissism would not be pure happiness in Camus’ eyes because narcissism is an avoidance of reality. It is not practical to have a narcissistic mindset as it pushes people away and will make life more difficult. In this way, Camus would see it as a waste of time to put forth any extra efforts to be narcissistic in life.

            Narcissism in today’s world is an epidemic, and there are actions that should be taken to fix it. Perhaps Camus’ view of narcissism should be adopted by everyone, as being self-centered and unempathetic is a waste of time.

Works Cited

Aronson, Ronald. “Albert Camus.” Stanford Encyclopedia of Philosophy, Stanford University, 10 Apr. 2017, plato.stanford.edu/entries/camus/.

Firestone, Lisa. “Is There a Cure for Narcissism?” Psychology Today, Sussex Publishers, 2018,www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/compassion-matters/201406/is-there-cure-narcissism

McCleadon, Joanne. “Narcissistic Personality Disorder Treatment.” Bridges to Recovery, 2003,www.bridgestorecovery.com/narcissistic-personality-disorder/narcissistic-personality-disorder-treatment/.

Levy, K. N., Reynoso, J. S., Wasserman, R. H., & Clarkin, J. F. (2007). Narcissistic personality disorder. In W. O'Donohue, K. A. Fowler, & S. O. Lilienfeld (Eds.), Personality disorders: Toward the DSM-V (pp. 233-277). Thousand Oaks, CA, US: Sage Publications, Inc.

Lunden, Ingrid. “ITU: There Are Now Over 1 Billion Users Of Social Media Worldwide, Most On Mobile.” TechCrunch, TechCrunch, 14 May 2012, techcrunch.com/2012/05/14/itu-there-are-now-over-1-billion-users-of-social-media-worldwide-most-on-mobile/.

McLeod, Saul. “Saul McLeod.” s Theories | Simply Psychology, 1 Jan. 1970, www.simplypsychology.org/Sigmund-Freud.html.

Remes, Olivia. “Narcissism: The science behind the rise of a modern epidemic.” The Independent, Independent Digital News and Media, 11 Mar. 2016, www.independent.co.uk/news/science/narcissism-the-science-behind-the-rise-of-a-modern-epidemic-a6925606.html.

Sanchez, Dan. “What the Self-Esteem Movement Got Disastrously Wrong | Dan Sanchez.” FEE, Foundation for Economic Education, 15 May 2017, fee.org/articles/what-the-self-esteem-movement-got-disastrously-wrong/.

Taylor, Dr. Jim. “Narcissism: On the Rise in America?” The Huffington Post, TheHuffingtonPost.com, 28 May 2011, www.huffingtonpost.com/dr-jim-taylor/narcissism-america_b_861887.html.